Sexualities and Romantcisms

Asexuality and Aromanticism

If you are Asexual, then you don’t feel any sexual feelings. It doesn’t mean you’re opposed to it, it just means you don’t feel the need or want to. If you’re Aromantic, then you don’t feel romantic attraction. Just because you feel one way or the other, doesn’t mean you’re automatically both though.

Many people deny that aromanticism even exists, believing that it’s impossible to not feel romantic love, right? Well, that’s very wrong, and aromantic people, or aro people, are very real. Aro people aren’t automatically asexual as well, they just won’t want to do things like kiss, or hug in a romantic way. For them, it would just be like cuddling with a friend, not so much a partner.
Asexuality, is denied very often too. If you still don’t fully understand, Ace people, don’t feel the want or need to, *cough* you know, and no, that probably won’t change if they find, “The One.” It doesn’t mean they won’t ever do it, because some do for their partner or just feel less sexual attraction than others, it just means they won’t necessarily want to. There are three main categories, though you don’t have to identify with any of them to be ace. The first is sex repulsed, where you have no interest in sex and probably won’t have it very often if at all. Sex neutral aces are, well, neutral. They don’t have positive or negative feelings towards sex. Finally, sex positive. They have positive feelings towards it, but they still DO NOT feel attraction in that way.

Ace Spectrum

There are many sexualities that live under the umbrella of the “Ace spectrum,” and although some write it off as unnecessary microlabelling, it can really be helpful to people to know that they aren’t the only ones that feel the way they do. The most well known in the spectrum are asexual and demisexual, which we have individual pages for. Some of the lesser known are gray-ace, lith, quoi, and cupio. Gray-ace/Gray-aro is similar to demi, is someone in between asexual and sexual. Lith, or Akoisexual, means that someone experiences attraction, but they don’t feel that way anymore if it’s reciprocated. Quoisexual means that someone might not be able define attraction and therefore don’t know if they experience it, or have difficulty figuring out if they’re feelings are platonic or romantic/sexual. Finally, cupiosexual is someone who doesn’t experience sexual attraction, but still want to have a sexual relationship for one reason or another. All these terms can be used in the context of romantic orientation. 

Aesthetic Attraction is a pretty common occurrence for ace and aro people, but some people don’t understand fully what it means. Essentially, it means you like how someone looks. It sounds pretty simple, but it’s mistaken for romantic or sexual attraction. A good example would be seeing a cat. It may be pretty, and you might even want to pet it, but it doesn’t mean you want to take it home.